Is This Brownie Healthy?

I've been trying for a few weeks to nail down a single-serving brownie recipe. I found one online, and it tasted great, but it has 3 tablespoons of sugar in it. I know the brownies I buy at bakeries probably have a lot of sugar, too, but I can not think about it if I'm not measuring out the sugar myself. Measuring out three tablespoons of sugar for one brownie makes me really aware that this should be a once-in-awhile indulgence.

I'm generally a fan of making healthier versions of the sweets I like, rather than denying myself. Or I guess I could just eat sweets all the time, which I sort of do. But it's great when I can make a healthier version that still satisfies the craving. Like these butterfingers, which are so good! And I'm trying to be more deliberate about inventing/modifying recipes, as in really thinking about what seems off and paying attention to how different ingredients change the end results. So I set out to make a brownie recipe.

I posted about this on Facebook and got the sense some people were upset with me counting calories. I can understand that being trigger-y. So many women have either restricted their eating or had other people try to for so much of our lives, and it creates a starvation mentality, as if food is actually scarce and not plentiful (I know for some people scarcity is the reality, but probably not for most of the people who saw my Facebook post.), or as if we're not allowed to give in to what we want and what feels good to us. I feel like there's some value in having information about what I am consuming, but I'm trying to figure out how to do it in a way that doesn't trigger that scarcity panic, which not only leads to overeating but is just unnecessary stress.

So, while I don't feel bad about calculating how many calories were in my brownie, other people's responses did make me think about what my goals were. Was my goal actually to keep the calories low? Well, sort of, but I did put in coconut oil, which has twice as many calories as canola, so obviously that wasn't my highest priority. I think my goals were

1. That it not taste like banana. (the oil-free versions had banana in them, and it wasn't worth the trade off to keep the calories low but have it taste like banana)
2. Not too much sugar
3. A nice texture - dense but moist and not gummy (gummy is what happens when you use no oil)

Coconut oil is somewhat sweet, so using it allowed me to use less sugar. That seemed like a good trade-off, since coconut oil has some health value while sugar has none. Here's what I ended up with.

Single-Serving Brownie

1 tsp Flax Seed
2 1/2 Tbsp Soy Milk
1 tbsp Coconut Oil
1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 tsp Apple Cider Vinegar
2 Tbsp Cocoa powder
2 Tbsp white flour
1/4 tsp Baking Powder
1 pinch Salt
1 Tbsp Sugar
1/4 tsp stevia

Preheat the oven to 350. Grind the flax seed in a spice grinder, put in a bowl with the milk, and set it aside while you mix the dry ingredients. Mix the ingredients from cocoa powder to the end of the list in a separate bowl and stir well. Then go back to your flax mixture and add coconut oil, vanilla, and vinegar. If your oil is solid, stick the mixture on top of the preheating oven for a minute or so until it is melted enough to mix with the other liquids. Then pour the liquids into the dry ingredients. Stir until all the powders are incorporated. Add a bit of milk if you need to.
Spray a ramekin or mug with cooking spray and pour in the batter.
It took 20 minutes for this to bake, but I'm bad about sticking things into the oven before it's fully pre-heated. Try 15 minutes, and if it still looks wet, bake for a few more minutes. Since there's no egg, there's no risk to under-cooking it.

Cherry Challah French Toast

I haven't blogged in months and was considering that maybe my enthusiasm had run its course after just a few posts. But maybe my enthusiasm is cyclical. At any rate, I've been in a reflective mood lately that has intersected with a cooking mood, so I've decided to blog again.

I've been reading a book about Jewish practices and thinking mostly about Shabbat (which is what the first two hundred pages of the book are about). The book takes an approach (typical of Reconstructionist Judaism) of not prescribing what one ought to be doing but providing guidance on how we can make our own choices that feel meaningful to us. My main reason for reading the book was to start thinking about why I do any Jewish practices. I know I like to observe my religious customs but have never tried to articulate why.

One thing I am getting from this book is that practices, which become habits, can enforce values. I really like the idea that, instead of telling myself I have to think or feel a certain way, I can choose or design a practice that embodies that belief and then focus on doing the practice. Whenever I try to change my mindset, to become more focused or confident or positive, I get frustrated because it's not that easy to change how one thinks. I like that Judaism encourages me to pick a really ordinary behavior like cooking, lighting candles, or turning off my cell phone - something I can totally do, though maybe not that last one! - and commit to it. If it changes how I feel or think, so much the better, but if that doesn't happen right away at least I'd be consistently acting with intention.

So what do I want to change about the way I think? Well, one of the things that speaks to me about Shabbat is the idea that it's ok for us not be trying to accomplish things all the time. We all have value simply as beings, value that is not dependent on what we do. This lesson feels more meaningful to me than just resting, which I'd previously thought was the point of Shabbat. Of course I haven't gotten that lesson down, and I definitely tend to value myself based on my accomplishments. But that seems like all the more reason to think of a practice that would repeat this lesson over and over until maybe it will sink in.

On the other hand, the idea of a Sabbath is based on the creation story, so originally the instruction was not the vague directive not to accomplish anything but more specifically not to create anything. This resonates less with me. While my work week sometimes (not as often as I'd like) contains accomplishments, it rarely involves creating something. Creating is usually a relaxing thing I do on the weekend - in the kitchen. You could say that creating makes me feel more G-d-like, though if I made that a goal I'd want to pick and choose which aspects of G-d to emulate!

So I'm toying with the idea of making a practice of always cooking on Shabbat, even though this is opposite to the traditional rules and also to my own intention from two paragraphs ago. Cooking makes me relaxed and connected to something, though I can't say what.

While I'm figuring this out, I decided to make a challah. My conclusion was that it takes forever and would be hard to fit in on a regular basis. So I'm not posting a challah recipe! But I do have a recipe for the leftovers. This is one I'd made a few times and just today got it down. yay. Most of my recipes stay in draft form for awhile. This took fewer tries to get right since it was just a few modifications away from this one, from Chocolate Covered Katie. I use Bolthouse Farms Cherry Juice, which is 100% juice but not 100% cherry. I imagine if you used pure cherry juice you'd need to dilute it, but maybe not. Maybe it would just be richer. Anyway, here's my recipe.

 

Cherry Challah French Toast

makes 6 servings of 2"x3"

half a block firm tofu
2 Tbsp lemon juice
2 tsp maple syrup
pinch salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
3 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup cherry juice
1/3 cup raisins
4 cups challah, torn into chunks

Mix the first four ingredients in a blender, but only for a few seconds. It should remain chunky. You can call this vegan ricotta. Add spices, sugar, and vanilla and pulse, still leaving it lumpy. Add the juice and pulse just until blended. Add the raisins. I didn't stir them in, just poured them on top. It got mixed enough when I poured the liquid out of the blender later.

Spread the challah over a brownie pan (8"x8" is standard, mine is some other dimension). Pour the blender mixture over it, evenly distributed. At this point it's nice if you can let it sit for an hour. This lets the bread and raisins absorb more liquid. I assembled it before a run and then baked it while I was showering after the run.

When it's time to bake, preheat oven to 400 degrees and bake for 35 minutes.

I hope nobody reads this blog for the photos! They're pretty bad.